


Eight Goddamn Movies

by peerieweirdo



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, but yes these nerds, i dont even care, im a sucker for putting my otps into a harry potter marathon, it's pure fluff but there's some swearing so
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-29
Updated: 2014-12-29
Packaged: 2018-03-04 06:14:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2955239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peerieweirdo/pseuds/peerieweirdo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“That’s it! Cancel your weekend plans, we’re having a Harry Potter marathon.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Wait a minute, you what?!”  
“It’s not that big of a deal, cupcake.”  
“Um, it’s a huge deal! How can you have gone through hundreds of years of life-“  
“In fairness it didn’t exist until 1998 anyway. And I was kind of more concerned with the whole vampire cult sacrifice thing.”  
“Well, yeah, but I still can’t believe you’ve never read them! Or even seen them! Wait does this mean you haven’t understood half the references I’ve been making?”  
“Yeah I just smile and nod most of the time.”  
“That’s it! Cancel your weekend plans, we’re having a Harry Potter marathon.”


	2. The Sorcerer's Stone

Saturday - 9:30am

Laura insists that they have to start this early.   
“We have to fit them all in, Carmilla!”   
She’s brought a six pack of Mountain Dew, and way too many Doritos and cookies to be healthy. The dorm room has been transformed into one giant pile of pillows and blankets, with a laptop lying open at one end of the room.   
Carmilla sighs, sitting down cross-legged. She’s given up protesting, this is going to happen whether she likes it or not.  
///  
“This is my favourite part!”   
“Laura that’s the Warner Brothers logo.”  
“Sssssh!”   
///  
“Right so that thing is called a Deluminator and it’s not important now but it becomes important in seven movies’ time so take note.”  
///  
“Hey Carmilla look it’s you!”   
“I swear to god if you compare me to that pathetic house cat-“  
“Nonono she’s the most badass character in the whole thing!”   
“An old lady?”   
“She’s a few good centuries younger than you.”  
“… Touche.”  
///  
“Okay right so that motorbike is important in the third one so forget it for now but remember it for then.”  
///  
“Who’s that?”   
“Harry’s cousin, Dudley.”   
“I want to kill him.”   
“Oh just you wait.”   
///  
“Okay so a lot of people say that that snake is Nagini but clearly they’re different breeds-“  
“Nagini?”   
“Voldemort’s snake.”   
“Ah, of course.”  
“He first turns up in the fourth one but only really becomes important in the last one so just forget that until then.”   
///  
“FUCK YEAH!”   
“Carmilla!”   
“Oh come on he totally deserved it! But the snake should have eaten him.”   
///  
“Holy shit Harry’s a wizard who would have guessed.”  
“Shut up! You’re so sarcastic!”   
“I’m just saying.”  
///  
“What’s in the parcel?”   
“I’m not telling you. It’s a spoiler.”   
“It’s the sorcerer’s stone isn’t it?”   
“GODDAMMIT.”   
///  
“Okay right the wand thing becomes SUPER important so just remember that one. In the back of your mind, remember that. Him and Voldemort have brother wands. Remember that. It’s important.”   
“Should I remember it?”   
“REMEMBER IT.”  
///  
“I’m SO MAD about how they cast James and Lily they look nothing like them.”  
“Because you know what they look like?”   
“Obviously.”  
///  
“Aw look it’s their first meeting. They get married you know.”  
“Spoilers!”   
“Looks like somebody’s invested.”   
“What do you mean? I’m not invested. This movie sucks. Pass me some chips.”   
///  
“Well that’s an asshole move, what if some other kids wanted candy?”  
///  
“Pause it I have to go to the bathroom.”   
“We’re only thirty five minutes into the first movie!”   
“Yeah and I have to go to the bathroom.”   
“We’re never gonna get it done at this rate!”   
///  
“Okay so Scabbers becomes important in the third one, but just-“  
“Forget him for now?”   
“Exactly!”   
///  
“Hey they’re gonna get married too!”  
“LAURA!”  
“Sorry! But I can’t help it they’re so cute!”   
///  
“Hermione reminds me of you.”  
“What?! I’m nothing like Hermione!”   
“Really? Can you look me in the eyes and tell me that you weren’t like her at school?”  
“… okay fine! But I’m taking it as a compliment as she was my favourite character!”   
“Of course she was.”   
///  
“Hey it’s the cat lady.”  
“You mean you.”   
“I am not the old cat lady.”  
“Sure.”   
///  
“Hey that blond kid’s Malfoy isn’t he? I’ve heard you talking about him.”  
“Yep.”   
“He seems like a douche.”   
“Noooo he’s my baby.”  
“Whatever you say.”   
///  
“Whoopdedoo they’re all in fucking Gryffindor what a surprise.”  
///  
“A sleeping potion so powerful it’s called the Draft of Living Death.”   
“What?”  
“The stomach of a goat. (That becomes important in the sixth one so take note.)”  
“Are you… answering Snape’s questions?”   
“Nothing they’re exactly the same ingredient.”  
“Oh my god.”   
///  
“This is SO ANNOYING! James Potter was a chaser not a seeker! Why did they have to change it?!”   
“Laura chill.”   
“NO IT’S ANNOYING YOU DONT UNDERSTAND. HE WAS A CHASER, HE WAS A GODDAMN CHASER.”  
///  
“That troll looks like Kirsch.”  
“Carmilla! Don’t be so rude!”  
“I’m sorry but it’s true.”   
///  
“OH GOLLY I WONDER WHAT THIS BROOMSTICK SHAPED PACKAGE COULD POSSIBLY BE.”   
///  
“Did she just set a teacher on fire?”   
“Yep.”   
“Hm. Maybe Hermione’s not as much of a nerd as I thought.”   
“Oh she is. Nerdiness and badassery aren’t mutually exclusive.”  
“Whatever you say, sweetheart.”   
///  
“Okay right the fact that he caught the snitch in his mouth becomes very very important in the last one. You should be writing these down.”   
“I think I got it.”   
“No you don’t! Remember that snitch!”   
///  
“See in the books it was a ‘Greek chappie’ which highlighted how Fluffy was actually Cerberus, the three headed dog guarding the underworld in Greek mythology-“  
“You’re adorable when you get all nerdy.”   
///  
“That is NOT HOW JAMES AND LILY WOULD HAVE LOOKED. THEY WERE YOUNG, IN THEIR TWENTIES.”   
“Let it go.”   
“NO!”  
///  
“Why do you like this cat lady? She seems like an asshole.”  
“Just wait.”  
///  
“See in the books it was Hermione who began to panic and Ron who reminded her to use a spell and it really annoys me that they changed it in the movies because it’s the beginning of a series-long trend where all of Ron’s good qualities are given to Hermione which completely negates Ron’s character but also makes Hermione a Mary Sue and takes away her flaws such as her panicking under pressure and-“  
“…”  
“I’m going to keep rambling if you shut me up with a kiss every time.”   
“Please keep rambling.”   
“Okay so Hermione has a deeply flawed saviour complex in the books and is also shown to be overly ruthless-“  
“…”  
///  
“Wait what’s going on?”   
“Maybe if you were more focused on the movie and less focused on kissing me you’d know.”   
“Why are they playing chess?”   
“It’s one of the tasks designed to guard the stone now ssssh.”   
///  
“HOLY SHIT! It wasn’t Snape?!”   
“Nope.”   
“It was turban dude?!”  
“Yep.”   
“Shit.”   
“I know.”   
///  
“Aw, well that was a nice movie. Anyway if you’ll excuse me-“  
“Sit your butt back down right now! We still have seven movies to go!”


End file.
